Post by honestlabrat on Jun 22, 2014 16:44:50 GMT -5
Sometimes you just have to sit back and laugh at it all... PREPARE YOURSELF TO MEET...
ANGRY BLACK GUY- straight out of jail, loud, diespectful, walks around like he's ready to shank anyone who looks at him funny, plays rap videos on his smartphone out loud during screening and in the study, plays gangster rap music on his smartphone in the shower, Hogs the TV and only watches BET, Favorite tv show is Love and Hip Hop, loud when paying pool/xbox/, constantly arguing on their cellphone as they pace around screaming at their baby momma or yelling at their multiple kids, constantly rants about being diespected in the clinic, talks on the phone after lights out without asking if it bothers his roomates, mentions that the food in here is "betta" than jail, walks around chanting rap lyrics from 2 chains, loves to set up a barbershop in the mens bathroom and rarely cleans up, hits on every female staff member (especially any fat white nurse of tech with a "bangin booty datz like fire!", spends his time hogging public computers looking up rap videos on youtube, hitting on girls with big butts on plentyoffish.com and fling.com, asks if anyone has a netflicks account so they can watch The Wire, doesnt bother to read the consent forms and is constantly late to procedures and gets angry for the staff scolding him.
SMELLY HIPPY- Usually a white guy or girl, lives in their van, wishes that woodstock would come back, wears dreadlocks, has to be reminded by staff to shower, bikes to studies somehow, loves the grateful dead, stinks but doesnt realize how smelly they are and thus assumes it must be the study drug that's causing their BO. Doesn't believe he/she has to pay taxes, complains that the food at clinics are not organic, complains that there's no quiet room, yet decided to bring their guitar to play really bad folk songs in your room which makes you want to drive a fork through your eardrums.
MR.CONSPIRACY- Spends all day looking at conspiracy websites, walks around listlessly bothering other subjects about debates on 9/11, religion, the federal government, the IRS, ends up talking to himself because nobody wants to be around his constant hysterical ranting, doesn't realize the irony of participating in drug studies and assisting big pharma while also being paranoid about big pharma.
MISS OVERRATED- thinks she's hotter than she is because shes the only girl in the study and every male rat is hitting on her, goes from study to study further inflating her already overblown ego, would rate as a 4 objectively but thinks shes a 8 because she compares herself to the most unattractive and obese staff member.
SNORASUARUS- Snores so loud every night that he wakes himself up. Earplugs are useless, and the only solution is a room mate change, which doesn't happen. Get's angry at you for waking him up at 5am because he's a light sleeper ironically, and doesn't realize his snoring has been messing up your sleep schedule the entire study.
PRO POKER PLAYA- swears he'll use his study money to compete at the WSOP and brags about living the high life, traveling around to various poker tourneys across the nation, living a life of glamour and high stakes, yet when it's time to play poker in the study he only wants to play for 1.00 and also asks you for a ride to the nearest bus station at the conclusion of the study.
GAY CREEPER- likes to have sex with other gay males in the shower, thinks it's ok to have sex with other men and still consider yourself straight because "just like jail" when there's no women around (or in a lab rats experience, no attractive women) it doesn't count when you bang another dude.
SPLINTER- Just like the character in TMNT, he is an old old rat... thinks he's wiser than he is, and boasts that he's done 100's of studies, tries to impart wisdom about being a lab rat and playing the game yet is broke, homeless and still living in his mom's basement in between studies. Chat's with the staff members like they're old friends yet is too delusional to realize they all feel sorry for him and pity his existence. Also likes to tell tall tales about his numerous real estate properties or collection of classic cars in storage.
powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/File:Splinter_TMNT.gif
ANGRY BLACK GUY- straight out of jail, loud, diespectful, walks around like he's ready to shank anyone who looks at him funny, plays rap videos on his smartphone out loud during screening and in the study, plays gangster rap music on his smartphone in the shower, Hogs the TV and only watches BET, Favorite tv show is Love and Hip Hop, loud when paying pool/xbox/, constantly arguing on their cellphone as they pace around screaming at their baby momma or yelling at their multiple kids, constantly rants about being diespected in the clinic, talks on the phone after lights out without asking if it bothers his roomates, mentions that the food in here is "betta" than jail, walks around chanting rap lyrics from 2 chains, loves to set up a barbershop in the mens bathroom and rarely cleans up, hits on every female staff member (especially any fat white nurse of tech with a "bangin booty datz like fire!", spends his time hogging public computers looking up rap videos on youtube, hitting on girls with big butts on plentyoffish.com and fling.com, asks if anyone has a netflicks account so they can watch The Wire, doesnt bother to read the consent forms and is constantly late to procedures and gets angry for the staff scolding him.
SMELLY HIPPY- Usually a white guy or girl, lives in their van, wishes that woodstock would come back, wears dreadlocks, has to be reminded by staff to shower, bikes to studies somehow, loves the grateful dead, stinks but doesnt realize how smelly they are and thus assumes it must be the study drug that's causing their BO. Doesn't believe he/she has to pay taxes, complains that the food at clinics are not organic, complains that there's no quiet room, yet decided to bring their guitar to play really bad folk songs in your room which makes you want to drive a fork through your eardrums.
MR.CONSPIRACY- Spends all day looking at conspiracy websites, walks around listlessly bothering other subjects about debates on 9/11, religion, the federal government, the IRS, ends up talking to himself because nobody wants to be around his constant hysterical ranting, doesn't realize the irony of participating in drug studies and assisting big pharma while also being paranoid about big pharma.
MISS OVERRATED- thinks she's hotter than she is because shes the only girl in the study and every male rat is hitting on her, goes from study to study further inflating her already overblown ego, would rate as a 4 objectively but thinks shes a 8 because she compares herself to the most unattractive and obese staff member.
SNORASUARUS- Snores so loud every night that he wakes himself up. Earplugs are useless, and the only solution is a room mate change, which doesn't happen. Get's angry at you for waking him up at 5am because he's a light sleeper ironically, and doesn't realize his snoring has been messing up your sleep schedule the entire study.
PRO POKER PLAYA- swears he'll use his study money to compete at the WSOP and brags about living the high life, traveling around to various poker tourneys across the nation, living a life of glamour and high stakes, yet when it's time to play poker in the study he only wants to play for 1.00 and also asks you for a ride to the nearest bus station at the conclusion of the study.
GAY CREEPER- likes to have sex with other gay males in the shower, thinks it's ok to have sex with other men and still consider yourself straight because "just like jail" when there's no women around (or in a lab rats experience, no attractive women) it doesn't count when you bang another dude.
SPLINTER- Just like the character in TMNT, he is an old old rat... thinks he's wiser than he is, and boasts that he's done 100's of studies, tries to impart wisdom about being a lab rat and playing the game yet is broke, homeless and still living in his mom's basement in between studies. Chat's with the staff members like they're old friends yet is too delusional to realize they all feel sorry for him and pity his existence. Also likes to tell tall tales about his numerous real estate properties or collection of classic cars in storage.
powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/File:Splinter_TMNT.gif
